TeamNEGU Blog

[MY JESSIE JOURNAL] Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I miss you so much and want you back to bad. I know, I have written those words to you every Thursday for over five years. I do miss you and I want you back here with Mommy, Shaya, JT and I. I know that is super selfish but it’s true. Even though that will never happen I’m still going to tell you as much as I want that “I miss you” and “want you back”=). 

A friend of mine went and saw this new movie called The Shack. I have read the book but my friend was telling me that while they were watching it they were crying and thinking of you and I. It’s a powerful story of a father losing his young daughter and wanting her back super bad too. The dad spirals into a deep depression that causes him to question life and his inner beliefs. Thankfully he faces his crisis with faith and learns the powerful hope of Heaven. 

My friend suggested I don’t see it, I want to see it. I know I will have an array of emotions. I will cry…any parent that has a child within you in Heaven cries…it’s the natural out pouring of a broken heart and soul. I might get mad at the Big Guy but in the end…I too will keep holding on to the hope of Heaven. 

I was talking with a dad this week that has a son with you. He asked me, “How do you get through each day?” I told him, “Some days I just try to survive the day and others I thrive all the way through. But every day I try my best to hold on to the hope of Heaven. I’m not perfect at it, but I try.” He said, “I don’t know about all of that funny stuff.” I told him, “I understand, faith is hard to grasp on to when the winds and waves of life are crashing down on you with intense pressure. It’s just how I get through each day.” I told him I would send him a copy of your book and he said he would like that. 

One of those days that I will try to thrive through but end up surviving is coming up…your 18th birthday….Saturday, April 8th. Sure I will love celebrating you but I will also miss so many things…you, your voice, your face, you opening gifts, you smiling when we sing happy birthday to you. Due to all of this, we are planning a 18 hour JoyJars stuffing marathon at the JoyFactory to keep us all busy. Our goal is to stuff 1,800 JoyJars in 18 hours…that’s 100 per hour. We are going to see if volunteers can come in and help us. It will be a ton of fun and spread JOY to kids fighting cancer in your honor…just will be one of those bitter sweet days. Oh, and we are getting cupcakes for everyone…that will be super sweet=))). You loved cupcakes so much!

We are also kicking off a super cool limited edition t-shirt campaign on your birthday and this amazing corporation that has tons of race car drives and fans is kicking off the social media campaign to bring awareness to childhood cancer and raise money for JoyJars. Once you see what they are doing…I know you will be smiling and saying….”Silly daddy”. We are calling all of these things….Jessie’s 18th Birthday Extravaganza. 

Here are two pictures…one of your first birthdays and one of our last birthday with you. Dang…tears are coming. Like I said at the start…I miss and love you so much Jess. Holding on to the hope of Heaven. See you in a wink!!!

xoxo
daddy

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