My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! Yep…I miss you and will everyday until I see you again. The rollercoaster of grief keeps chugging along. I so wanted you to be here on Monday so we could go out and get some candy together. I’m sure being 17 you would have wanted nothing to do with that but I thought about you and the last time we went out and got candy. Then I remembered the year after you moved to Heaven and I was taking JT out for some candy and I heard you say… “Wait for me daddy”. It was so real but when I turned around there was no one.
Tuesday was good and bad….I got to speak to this local high school during their chapel service about you and JoyJars. I stated…”If Jessie was here she would be a senior in high school.” Afterwards your best friend Sophia came up and gave me a hug…it was like instant rewind. You two were so close and then cancer broke you apart. Her eyes were wet so I could tell she was missing you too. I remember her speaking at your Celebration of Life service and saying…. “We prayed everyday for a miracle but in the end Jessie was the miracle.” She has such a sweet heart like you!
On my way to the car a teacher stopped me and told me what an inspiration you have been to her students. I said “thank you” and then she said five of her students had written about you in her advanced English class. WOW! That is crazy but cool.
Yesterday was a good day as we started preparing to stuff our new Winter Wonderful JoyJars next week. The kids will love them Jess. Bright, cheerful and lots on fun. Shaya and I also got to meet with this home builder who is going to help us with some room makeover’s for kids fighting cancer. We hope to be able to help a little boy who has DIPG with a super hero themed room. Ever since meeting him and his family all I want to do is see him smile. I have thought over and over about your famous question…. “How can we help them?” so much with this family. I just want to help them…they just got on the rollercoaster and I hope we can help their ride not be so bumpy.
It then turned sad when I read about that girl who got bulled from cancer and ended up taking her own life. Kids can be so mean!
As you can see the week has had its share of ups and downs. Thankfully you have been with me at all times! I love this picture of you and Shaya…you alway bring JOY to every moment.
Jess, I will forever love you and love being your daddy!
xoxo
daddy
