My Jessie Journal: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I miss you so much and love you to the moon and back. I hope you are doing great. I’m sure being cancer free and being in the best place ever is very fun. I’m just being super selfish when I say, “I wish you were here.” I just wish there was a giant “rewind” button I could push so all of our pain would go away. That isn’t a choice so we will continue to funnel our pain to help others during their pain.
We had our annual golf tournament on Monday, which was great. I remember you being at the very first one, which I will forever cherish. You were clearly there Monday in spirit. The morning started with a nice little rainbow, which we know you sent for us=))). Then everyone was inspired by your video during the program and helped us raise more money to help more kids NEGU. We are launching this new program to help kids and families, which I can’t wait to release in January. It’s going to be so great for kids, sibs and parents.
I’m on a mission to help every kid fighting cancer feel super special everyday no matter what. I know you used to tell me you felt “lonely and limited”. That has always haunted me because NO CHILD should ever feel lonely and limited. Kids are our future and need to feel empowered to NEGU every day!!!
Tuesday night was emotional for me. I was sitting at home and decided to turn on the TV. The show “The Voice” was one, which I know you loved so I decided to watch it. This one guy shared about how he was singing for his father who he has lost. He sang this song by Michael Bolton. The chorus goes like this…
“Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I’ve been lovin’ you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I’ve been livin’ for is gone.”
I found myself wiping tears off my cheeks as I replayed the song a few times. Then I thought to myself…”Erik, you carry on by loving others the way Jessie did.” Love does help a person carry on. I know love gives me the strengthen to plow through the field of pain everyday. Love also helps me feel you everyday in some little way. So I will keep loving you as I do my best to try to love others.
Yesterday I was at the regional offices of Toyota and they too are inspired by you=). They did this afternoon social event with yummy Side Car donuts, which you never got to try but I know you would love them. They also created wonderful GO GOLD signs and balloons for their cars. They are such a compassionate corporation.
Today, I’m taking your LOVE with me to Lake Elsinore for this big Lucas Oil off road racing event. They are doing a fundraiser for you and dedicating the races to our Go Gold campaign. I’m sure you will inspire all of the racers and spectators to NEGU too.
I love you so much Jess! See you in a “wink”.
Off to share some love=)))
xoxo,
daddy
