My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I miss you so much. I always look in my phone to see what picture of was taken on this date in 2011. This was the one for today. I remember the doctors calling and saying “Jessie’s counts are extremely low…she needs to get to the hospital ASAP”. The phrase “ASAP” put mommy and I into a tail spin, which made you anxious. When we got there and they said you needed fluids that meant “needles” and you hated those. We were both so thankful the nurse got the line in on the first try. We spent the next two hours watching NCIS while the fluids drained into your body. Until this morning I hadn’t thought about this for a while and then in seconds it all came rushing back.
People keep telling me that it’s going to get easier…while their hearts are always in a good place I just don’t think they fully embrace the depth of loss a parent goes through. I’m sure any loss is terrible, but this is the one I know very intimately. I always tell them…some days it is a little easier to breath but my heart still bleeds love, my mind still aches with wonder and my soul still cries for hope.
The things that really help make a little easer is to hear stories of how you have impacted someone. Just this week I got a note from a lady who lives in Dubai and wants to help us raise funds and spread joy to kids fighting cancer there. We have reached kids in 30 countries so far but hope to be at 50 by the end of the year. This lady will help us get to #31. Yeah for the kids!!!!
The next day I got a note from a lady who lives in Ireland. She is writing a children’s book and needed permission to have the book dedicated to you. She even had this great illustrator make a picture of you that looks great. Now readers of her book will learn about you too.
Then this couple that lives in Arizona and works with wood decided to do a “wood-working” challenge to raise money for us. Last year they raised over $20,000 for a charity. WOW!
Finally, yesterday I was interviewed by a lady who lives on the east coast. She is writing an article about grief and how to mange it before it manages you.
After talking with her I sat a thought….You are thousands of miles away in Heaven…one lady is thousands of miles away in Dubai….the other thousands of miles away in Ireland…the couple is in Arizona and the writer is on the east coast…while I’m in Orange County, Ca.
Jess this is so CRAZY! Crazy good but just crazy. We have so far to go to become a global symbol like Komen and LiveStrong. However, if we keep spreading JOY and helping kids, sibs and parents NEGU we might someday make it.
Please thank the Big Guy for giving me these life lines of people (strength) this week. I truly did help me breath a little easier this week compared to last week.
Hugs Sweet Pea…I LOVE YOU!
xoxo,
daddy
