My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea…it’s me=). Loving you, thinking about you, caring about you and longing to see you. Some of the same feelings other parents feel when their child moves to heaven way to early. I love when parents write to me and share their pain with me. There are parents that help me too because it’s been 5, 10, 20+ years since their sweet child moved to heaven. They help me and I help those that have been a little less. We truly all are better together.
Jess, I was flipping radio stations in my truck the other day and I heard this old song by a group called The Beatles titled…“I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t hold your hand and I wanna hold your hand so dang bad. It’s the little things some days I miss the most. Holding hands communicates love, support, security, comfort and a ton of other feelings. I loved holding your little hand…and you loved hold mine. You would always be the first to grab my hand when we got out of the car at a restaurant, mall, etc. I long to hear you say… “Wait daddy, I wanna hold your hand.” Sometimes you didn’t even say a word…I would just reach back and there you were…we would hold hands and looks at each other with a smile. No words were needed…the touch and smile made us both feel safe, loved and comforted. I posted this pic because it shows that special union we had so many times.
Sweet Pea, I met a wonderful man the other day who was born without arms and legs. Crazy huh. His name is Nick Vujicic and he was speaking at an event. WOW! What a powerful story, man and role model to so many. It’s sad that Nick will never be able to hold hands but like he says…“I can focus on all the things I can’t do OR I can focus on all the things I can do.”
What a great statement that is. It reminded me of you and your attitude with cancer. Yes, you hated how cancer took your ability to walk, your ability to swallow, your ability to run, your ability hear, your ability to shut your eyes at night and your hear. However, you still pressed on and did the best you could with what you had today. It’s crazy how when I’m now faced with a hurdle or set-back I think about you and now Nick. Two amazing people that when faced with incredible difficulties choose to press on with God’s strength. I wish I had a half the amount of strength, perseverance and determination you and Nick have. I really do. Somedays I feel way to weak.
One of your amazing teachers at Melinda Heights just beat cancers butt and she was telling me a few days ago how you inspired her everyday during her treatment. I could see it in her eyes Jess…you really did helped her. WOW…you are still helping people embrace each day and NEGU from your Heavenly home.
I hope you are seeing all of the Going Gold pictures on Facebook. I can’t wait to turn Facebook gold for childhood cancer. Our amazing friend and designer Diana is doing it all for you Jess. She tells me so often, “I’m doing this for Jess”. WOW, another person that you inspired. Maybe I should collect stories from people and make a book called “Inspired”. I bet I could collect a few 1,000. It’s simply amazing.
I guess I shouldn’t think it is that surprising due to you being an Angel sent from Heaven with a special assignment to spread hope, joy and love to children fighting cancer. At least that I what I tell myself when the pain is so intense I want to throw-up.
That pain is coming so I’m going to stop tying…
Miss you tons, love you more…see you in a wink! Promise.
xoxo
daddy