My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet-Pea, it s Daddy! Every time I go to write you, I just pause after “sweet-pea”…it has happened every Thursday since Jan 5th 2012. Those two words release such intense memories and emotions. Then I always think about the front door opening and you coming back. I guess it’s my little way of “holding on” to you, your smile, your sounds, your touch, your beauty, your innocence, your heart, your laugh, your spunky tude, your love for sweets, your love for Moe and your love for mommy, Shaya and JT. I think about so many moments with you.
Last night I was asked for a picture of you taking chemo for a project we are working on. As I searched for one on my phone it brought back so many more memories…then this picture popped up. It will forever be one that I never forget. I got to be your strength when you were so weak in that moment. There were other times my strength gave you strength…like those piggy back rides upstairs because you had a hard time walking. Some of the most cherished moments of those 10 months were being your strength. Now you are my strength each and every day when I’m weak.
Jess, do you remember when I would read that book to you called…“love you to the moon and back”? It sure has a new meaning to it now. I always go in your room and think about you, open up your closet to hold your clothes and then thank God for the honor of being your daddy. I then pray for you. I pray you have fun every day. I pray you have great new friends. I prayed this week you and all of the other courageous kiddos that have joined you are happy. I pray you enjoy Heavenly sweets. I pray you are playing with Bruin and Kobe. I pray you and Coach Fran are swimming hard.
Please say a prayer for me Jess!
….see you in a wink. Promise!