My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! How are you doing? You can tell by the picture I included I’m REALLY missing you. I feel kind of in a “funk” and super “tired”. Not physically tired…more emotionally and intellectually tired. Some days I just get tired of realizing the facts that cancer took your life and you are not coming home ever. I know where you are and I can’t wait to be with you again but this “gap” between when you left here on 1/5/12 to whenever it is God calls me to Heaven can some days just be hard. Today is just one of those days…I know I should look around and “count my blessings” and realizing all of the amazing things we get to do for kids fighting cancer but once in a while it’s hard. I just don’t want to have to realize the reality right now. I know that is super selfish but it’s true.
I truly wish we were back on that couch…it was one of those times that made me not have to “think”…I could just feel your touch, your hair, your weight and I’m forever grateful I got to be your daddy. I miss smelling your hair and holding your hands. I know that can sound kind of creepy but parents just know the smell of their children. It’s one of those “things” we just know.
We also know your voice…oh how I miss hearing you say…. “Daddy’s home”….“Hold my hand daddy”…”Love you daddy”…”Good night daddy”. I’m so thankful we have some great video clips of you so I can keep hearing your voice as much as I need to.
Jess, please visit me today…PLEASE!!!
xoxo,
daddy
