My Jessie Journal:: Hi, Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I love waking up on Thursday morning and telling you about my struggles, stresses and successes. Thursday has become instrumental in my own healing journey. I know you know this but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I still can’t believe you are in Heaven and we are down here on earth trying to navigate life. I love this picture of you when you were little…great memories!
I met a young lady yesterday that met you once when you were at a birthday part for your friend Sophie back when you were fighting cancer. She just graduated high school and was heading to San Diego to go to school. She seemed so full of life and excited to start her new chapter. Her mom is a great volunteer for us so they volunteered together yesterday. Have to admit…that was hard because that would be you…but it’s not so we press on happy for others and hurting inside.
I’m thinking of writing another book now that it’s been 6 years…my working title is…Broken not Beaten: take control of your life! My heart is broken and don’t know if it will ever be normal again but I’m not beaten. Beaten means you give up and that just isn’t even possible when your motto was Never Ever Give Up!
I was at a nurses conference last week and met a lady that was telling me she was ready to give up…she truly looked beaten and defeated. I gave her my NEGU wristband and a copy of your book. I then told her…if you can control your thoughts you are still in control of your life…she smiled and gave me a hug. I believe one of the biggest hurdles people need to overcome when pain and tragedy enter their life is “mental”. Sure there is tons of physical and emotional pain…but with a proper perspective you can pull out of any ditch or rut you find yourself in. I’m not saying it is easy and having others help you is super powerful but I still believe everyone can choose to either give up or NEGU.
I spoke with a dad recently that has a child fighting cancer for the 3rd time. I can’t even relate and maybe after 3 rounds it’s hard to keep going but I still go back to the basic principle….if you can control your thoughts you can control your life. Kind of like when you were growing up and I would say to you, Shaya and JT….input = output. What you choose to put into your mind controls what comes out of your mouth. Put good in…good comes out. Put bad in…bad comes out.
I really don’t know when I will find time to write this book but I truly feel what we have been through as a family for the past 6 years could help others.
Jess, did you see the eclipse from Heaven? I didn’t see it live but saw it all over the news. It created a lot of conversation and people planned their vacations around seeing it. So crazy!
Your new smart phone app, iNEGU, is so close to getting launched. We have animated Mr. Moe and he shows up weekly to encourage kids, sibs and families to NEGU. It is so cool to this idea come to fruition. Took a year to design, build and get support but I truly feel the kids, sibs and parents will feel so encouraged every day to NEGU. We decided to let anyone download it and experience it for 3 days but after that it’s only for courageous kids, super kids and parents impacted by childhood cancer so I can honor your Wish=).
Well I need to go workout and then take JT to school.
I miss you so much….love you tons more…and know deep in my mind I will see you again! In a wink!
