Remembering Brendan
No parent wants to hear that their child has cancer. Unfortunately, it happens way too often and honestly I was one of those people who never really gave it too much thought until one day, on February 19, 2013, our lives would be forever changed. On that day, we learned that our precious 11 year old son, Brendan had an incurable form of brain cancer called Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG). To be told that your child has brain cancer is devastating but to be told that there was no chance of him surviving it, was a tragedy. As parents, you are supposed to be able to make everything better for your child, to help heal their boo boos, to be able to tell them that everything is going to be okay. Even though we knew the diagnosis we were given, we were never ever going to give up hope that somehow Brendan would beat the odds. However, on March 26, 2013, seventeen days after his 12th birthday and after only five short weeks of fighting this horrible disease with radiation and chemotherapy, Brendan went home to heaven. This is what cancer does and it happened to our son, and our family.
I’d like to tell you a little bit about Brendan. Brendan was a quiet, sensitive and very smart boy who loved video games. He enjoyed spending time with family, his close friends, and going to church with us every Sunday. He was a deep thinker, very inquisitive and strong – much stronger than he ever knew he could be. Brendan also LOVED Legos. If he could have, he would have owned one of every set out there. Brendan had the most beautiful big, blue eyes and I remember when the nurses at the hospital would shine the light in them they would always say, “Wow…those eyes!” Brendan loved Jesus with all of his heart and for that, we are so very thankful. We do not question where he is, we know that he is in heaven and he is there waiting for us.
We have always been a family of faith and I have always said that my faith is unshakable but this happening to our child definitely rattled me. I have never wavered in my love for our Lord, Jesus Christ nor the fact that I know that he has a plan and his plan is perfect, even when it hurts beyond words. To lose a child is such an unbearable pain, one like no other. I still, at times, cannot believe that this is my life and that Brendan is not here. There are moments when I still expect him to come bouncing in the room or to be sitting in his favorite chair playing video games. It’s heartbreaking.
One of the things that losing Brendan has showed us is that we need to look at life in a different way. We need to focus on things that are eternal and not the things of this world. Now, our focus has definitely changed to be more on the things that are eternal and lasting and not so much on the things of this world. We know that God has allowed this suffering in our lives for a reason. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” We live by this verse and are constantly reminded that we need to keep focused on heaven, our eternal resting place, the place that we will see our God and all of his glory and also be reunited with our sweet Brendan.
This month is very important to our family as it is childhood cancer awareness month. I am constantly reminded of how our son passed away, how cancer took his life. I am saddened that this has happened and happens to so many children and their families. Funding for childhood cancer is so low and it is incredibly sad and disheartening. My hope is that by raising awareness, more funding will be delegated to pediatric cancer research and that there would eventually be a cure. Imagine living in a world with no more cancer – IMAGINE! By raising awareness, we can help raise funding. I also hope that this month will help people to continue to NEGU!! The Jessie Rees Foundation and everyone involved with it has made such a huge difference in our lives. They have been there for us since Brendan was first diagnosed and got the chance to meet him while he was still in the hospital. I am often saying to people, “I wish you could have met Brendan.” I am grateful that some of my most favorite people from JRF got the chance to meet our sweet boy and see those beautiful blue eyes and get to know how wonderful he was, if only for a moment of his life. Erik, Stacey, Jana, and those who stuffed and sent his JoyJar gave him JOY and made him smile and that means the world to us. You all have changed our lives by giving of yourselves in ways that many people wouldn’t. We want to do more, be more, and be better because of you and the beautiful legacy that your sweet Jessie left behind for all of us.
Our family has been incredibly blessed by a group of family and friends that have been there for us from day one of Brendan’s diagnosis. They have given so much of themselves and continue to do so. We truly have an amazing support system and not everyone has this. One thing that I would ask of you is that if you know someone who is on a journey such as ours, please reach out to them. It does not have to be in grand ways, it can simply be in giving them a hug or sending them a card to let them know that you are thinking about them. Let them know that you care and that you are there for them. It truly means so much during a time when you feel as though your world is falling apart.
On the 26th of this month, it will be six months since Brendan went home to heaven. It has been an incredibly difficult path to walk and one that we wish upon no other parent. The pain of losing a child is at times unbearable, however, we trust in our God and we will continue to do so. We know that we are here on this earth for a reason and we will continue to care until there is a cure, we will continue to love others, and we will continue to NEGU until God calls us home. I will close with Brendan’s favorite verse: Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” We will never ever give up!
Team NEGU, please join us in sending lots of NEGU hugs and prayers to the Pederson family. You can visit them at https://www.facebook.com/ThePedersonPath