My Jessie Journal: Hi Sweet-Pea, it’s daddy. My heart hurts today not as much as the day you took 
your last earthly breath…nothing will ever compare to that pain. Just hurts.
Tuesday night Shaya had her swim banquet and the team gives out the “most inspirational” award. Prior to giving it out, they stated they have renamed the award to “The Jessie Rees, Most Inspirational Award”…while this was an incredible honoring it was like a massive kick to my gut…parents aren’t suppose to see their kids names on awards like this. It just was another reminder of how much I miss you and how inspiring you were (still are). Just seeing your name on a plaque was bitter sweet. I think that defines my life “bitter-sweet”…the bitterness is from having you physically gone. Seeing our school photo picture frame of you and having it stop after 6th grade is bitter. Thinking of those last few hours with you are bitter. Seeing Shaya and JT in pain is bitter. Having to explain I have three children but one is in Heaven is bitter.
The sweet comes from the amazing impact you are making. I spoke to a little brownie troop yesterday at the JoyFactory and they knew who you were, what you did and one even said, “Jessie inspires me.” She was 7 years old. WOW!!! That is sweet. Not as much as your sweet eyes, checks, smile and hair that I miss so much. I look at pictures of you and my eyes get fixated on your eyes. This picture is all about your eyes. They say “eyes” are the window to the soul….if this is true…your soul is tender, caring, bright and loving. That is what I think about when I look into your eyes in pictures…your tender heart, your caring heart, your bright spirit and loving attitude. So even though my heart hurts today I will choose to focus on the “sweet” side of my life…the sweet side of you!!!!
I truly hope you are safe, laughing, healed, running, playing, swimming and meeting all the new kids that keep joining you from cancer each week. It seems like there are more and more.
miss you tons, love you more….see you in a wink! I promise!!!!
xoxo,
daddy