My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet-Pea…I hope you are having fun, meeting new friends and swimming 
with Coach Fran. I wish I could report I’m doing lots better. I’m a little better. I keep telling people I’m “peacefully empty”…I have “peace” knowing where you are and that you are cancer free but life is “empty” in so many ways without you. I’m not depressed just sad and missing you, your hugs, your smile and your touch. I can’t wait for you to visit me in my dreams and whisper in my ears…maybe I’m not emotionally ready for that…I just long to see you and hear your sweet voice. Even if it was just a whisper…”I’m ok daddy. I love you.”
It’s only been 7 ½ months and I can’t image what 7 years is going to feel like. I realize life has to “go” on…but why? I don’t want it to…I want to spend as much time as I can thinking about you. My biggest fear is people will slowly forget you. I know that won’t happen. Thankfully the your Facebook Fans won’t let that happen. They love and miss you too. They are amazing Jess. They JobMob when asked. They donate when needed. They vote when they can and they share your story with everyone they know. It’s truly amazing. You started something that will never be forgotten. There is even a group in Hollywood thinking about a documentary on you. I meet with an amazing lady who helps write books when we are in NY. She wants to help me share your story and NEGU message with the world.
Sometimes I will see a child in a hospital with one of your JoyJars and they have a smile so big they could eat a banana sideways and it reminds me of you=). The photo wall in your room that Nana made is full of your “smile”. It’s the one thing I can look at and within seconds feel better.
Shaya and JT are both doing ok too. JT keeps wanting to do Facetime with you…he misses his Lego buddy so much. He wanted to go swimming in the pool the other day and missed not having you to play with him. You were always there for him. You and Shaya helped him in so many ways. He asked for pictures of you to be placed around his room. So sweet to see him look at you…just a little brother missing his sister. Like JT, Shaya misses you tons too…she helps us think of all of the great moments with you. We are going to NY next week to visit the stores and restaurants you had listed in your iPad. Shaya is developing the itinerary…it will be fun but we will miss you tons. Aunt Kimmy and Uncle T are going to meet us there too…like Mommy, Nana, Papa, Bob and Tanta…they too miss you tons.
Jess, I love you more than “words” and long to hold your hand again. While my heart aches for you and my soul breaks for the kids still fighting…I will NEVER EVER GIVE UP helping kids fighting cancer…your wish is my promise!!!
xoxo,
daddy