My Jessie Journal: 6 Months…
Hi Sweet Pea! We miss you so much. Today marks 6 months since we last touched and talked. It’s amazing how life boils down to those to things…touching and talking. Two things no one can do without…two things you were amazing at. You loved talking and you loved to touch…hold hands, cuddle on the couch, give hugs and smile like nothing else. Your smile still hugs my heart daily. Whenever I think about those last 5 hours with you…I search my phone or the house for a picture of your smile. Your room is full of them. I wish I could erase those last hours but it has helped me help other parents scared to watch their child pass. Whenever I miss your hugs I ask JT, Shaya and Mommy for one. We have a family of great huggers=))).
I think we all learned how to give great hugs from Mommy. She is the best!!! Like me, mommy misses you tons and tons. She is the best mommy around. While she misses you…she gives and gives to Shaya and JT. They always say the most important parts of your body you can’t see…like you heart. Mommy is the most important part of our family…she is the heart, soul, glue that holds us together. She may not be as visible as daddy on Facebook but she is so “valuable” to our success. She has amazing gifts that I don’t so we make a great team. It hurts my heart when people question mommy’s involvement. We all have a purpose and she is fulfilling hers as the greatest “mommy and bride”. I’m actually starting a class tonight at church called Only You Can Be You for the ladies of Saddleback. It’s all about finding and fulfilling your purpose in life. I will be talking about you and how you fulfilled your purpose with such love and care. I love talking about you…always will!!!
Shaya and JT miss you tons too…we all have some good days and some not so good days. Shaya misses having a little sister to due her nails with…while JT misses his Lego buddy. We bought some big Lego kits in memory of you a few weeks ago.
Yesterday was 4th of July…like you didn’t know that=). I wonder what type of fireworks you had in Heaven. I’m sure they are spectacular. Yesterday I posted a picture of us in the back yard last 4th. Those sparklers were so fun. When I think back to that time I’m glad “sparklers” took away the pain of cancer for a moment. It’s those moments that you could be normal again for a split second. It was those “moments” we all tried to give you as much as possible.
We are working hard on the Holiday JoyJars just like last year. This year, they will include some custom NEGU toys. Ms. Diana and the speculator JoySquad at the JoyFactory do an amazing job at stuffing, sealing and shipping over 1,000 JoyJars a week to kids fighting cancer. We are so close to 20,000. We are still on course to reach 50,000 by 12/31/12. The JoySquad make everyone to your wishes…crammed full of fun, no cheesy toys, and sent fast.
Jess, I so honored to be your daddy and will never ever give up thinking about you. We all miss you tons, love you more and can’t wait for one of our “family” hugs.
xoxo, daddy, mommy, shaya and JT