My Jessie Journal:: Not Letting Go!!!
Hi sweet-pea! Every time I go to write you, I just pause after “sweet-pea”…it has happened for 25 weeks. Those two words release such intense memories and emotions. Then I always think about the front door opening and you coming back. I guess it’s my little way of “holding on” to you, your smile, your sounds, your touch, your beauty, your innocence, your heart, your laugh, your spunky tude, your love for sweets, your love for Moe and your love for mommy, Shaya and JT.
Last week at the swim meet someone told me it helps if you “let go”…I wanted to smack them so hard. I will never let go. Letting go to me means stop thinking, stop feeling, stop breathing. One thing for sure Jess, I will NEVER let go until I hold you again. I’m your daddy and you are my daughter…a super special bond that I’m not going to let go of. Daddy’s don’t let go of their kids no matter where they are. Daddy’s love and love and love and love and love.
I remember that book I use to read to you about “love you to the moon and back”…that sure has a new meaning to it now. I will always go in your room daily and think about you, open up your closet to hold your clothes and then thank God for the honor of being your daddy. I then pray for you still. I pray you have fun every day. I pray you have great new friends. I prayed this week you and “Fight On Jackson” would become buddy’s. He is such a sweet-boy. I pray you enjoy Heavenly sweets. I pray you are playing with Bruin and Kobe. I pray you and Coach Fran are swimming hard.
Speaking of swimming, your buddy Chloe made the Olympic team in the 400 Freestyle. She always reminds me of you with her big smile and blonde hair. You two could have been sisters. I’m sure she will take NEGU with her to London. You are always in her heart.
There is a group of nice people in Hollywood working on a possible movie about YOU…wow!!! They are calling you the “invisible thread”. It’s a term that is used about uniting people together for good. I have no idea if Lifetime, ABC Family or Hallmark Films will pick it up. I hope they do. No matter what, I’m glad God gave us the ability to remember so I can play movies of you anytime. I play them daily and will always.
Jess, I miss you and I can’t wait to see you!!!
xoxo, daddy