My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet-Pea. I miss you so much. Your smile. Your belly laugh. Your hugs. 
Your spirit. Your kindness. Your hair. Your smell. Your fights with your sister and brother. I miss making lunch for you. I miss our cuddle huddles and watching TV. You loved American Idol and watching it reminds me of the time we went and you got to introduce Scotty McCreery and meet everyone afterwards. You loved that Casey guy with the crazy hair. I miss talking to you about God, school, swimming, life. I miss dreaming with you.
I always think, what would Jessie be doing today if she was here? She would be getting ready for school, packing her backpack, going to 8th grade, hanging with her friends, going to swim, eating dinner, doing homework, watching a TV show and then doing bedtime prayers. Rather you are gone. Will never be able to grow up, get married and be a great mommy. Sunday will be 2 years from the day we heard, “I’m sorry. Jessie has cancer and there is nothing we can do for her?” The 2nd worst day of my life. We felt so helpless, so stressed, so scared, so alone…all while you decided to show others hope, joy and love. It still amazes me. Your behavior was so out of the ordinary. So inspiring. So incredible. These are normal things for your daddy to say but when 1,000’s of others say it…you really do see your amazing spirit.
I have been reminded of this the last two weeks at my new job with the YMCA of Orange County. As I meet amazing people they talk about my amazing daughter. I love it because I reminds me of you. I hope I can get the YMCA to help spread more joy to kids fighting cancer. It’s a great organization that was started as a Bible study and stands for Young Men’s Christian Association. It’s changed a lot but they still focus on helping people live out “Christian principles”, which is super. As their chaplain some have been worried I’m going to walk around with my Bible and judge people. I laugh inside as they have no idea who I am and how I go about my faith. I follow your model…less words…more action! You didn’t say much but when you did it was caring, loving and kind. Your actions spoke louder than your words, which is the right thing to do. No matter what your faith is everyone believes in “caring for people in need”. Love, care and kindness are universal languages. Your JoyJars are giving people great opportunities express these universal languages without words!
Keep praying for us Jessie! Grief is a massive rollercoaster and Sunday will be a hard day for mommy and I. Our goal is very simple…hold on to God…hold on to each other and hold on to memories of you!!!
Miss you tons, love you more….see you in a “wink”. I promise!!!
xoxo,
daddy