My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I can’t believe Christmas is next week. 4 years ago you we were headed to Unlce T and Aunt Kimmy’s home in Denver to celebrate Christmas as a family of 5. Such a massive bitter sweet moment. I can remember watching you open presents and thinking to myself… “This is the last time I will get to see her do this.” I tried so hard to keep my emotions in and capture every action…every giggle…every smile…every memory!
I hate cancer so much Jess. It sneaks into a persons life without notice…it robs them of so much…it crushes their loved ones…It leaves a massive wake of pain when it leaves. Does it every really leave? Maybe the cancer does but the pain never does.
I saw this pain yesterday when I was in a meeting with a group of people talking about an event we want to do to celebrate the courageous spirit of kids fighting cancer. During the meeting Shaya got passionate about something and said…”I just want to make sure Jessie’s story is never forgotten.” As she shared tears welled up in her eyes…tears full of love, tears of a big sister still playing big sister, tears of passion, tears of concern, tears of protection, tears of pain. Everyone in the room thanked her for keeping everything focused one Jessie and the kids.
I was so proud of her for protecting you and I was so mad that she has to live with this burden. The wake of pain in her life is just as big as it is for mommy and I. She misses you so much Jess. She thinks about you so often. She cherished the role of playing “big sis” from the moment you came home from the hospital. I just love this picture of the two of you many years ago at Christmas. All dressed up and sharing presents with each other. Please send a little breeze of love her way today…she could use it.
Those dang memories are starting to roll down my face so I’m going to stop for today so I can get ready to take JT to school and then go to work. I’ll talk to you in the car in a little while.
I love you…I cherish you…I MISS YOU!!!
xoxo
daddy