My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea…it’s me=). Loving you, thinking about you, caring about you and longing to see you. Some of the same feelings other parents feel when their child moves to Heaven way to early. I love when parents write to me and share their pain. There are parents that help me too because it’s been 5, 10, 20+ years since their sweet child moved to heaven. They help me and I help others. We truly all are better together.
Jess, I was flipping radio stations in my truck the other day and I heard this old song by a group called The Beatles titled…“I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t hold your hand and I wanna hold your hand so dang bad. It’s the little things some days I miss the most. Holding hands communicates love, support, security, comfort and a ton of other feelings. I loved holding your little hand…and you loved hold mine. You would always be the first to grab my hand when we got out of the car at a restaurant, mall, etc. I long to hear you say… “Wait daddy, I wanna hold your hand.” Sometimes you didn’t even say a word…I would just reach back and there you were…we would hold hands and looks at each other with a smile. No words were needed…the touch and smile made us both feel safe, loved and comforted. I posted this pic because it shows that special union we had so many times.
I have come to the realization that every day I can choose to focus on all the things I can’t because you are gone do OR I can focus on all the things I can do. Just like you did when you had cancer. You hated how cancer took your ability to walk, your ability to swallow, your ability to run, your ability hear, your ability to shut your eyes at night and your hear. However, you still pressed on and did the best you could with what you had today. It’s crazy how when I’m now faced with a hurdle or set-back I think about you.
I hope you are watching the four guys race across America on their bikes to support you. So inspiring to think these guys volunteered to raise money, raise awareness and work their tails off riding for 6 days straight. That is over 3,000 miles on bikes. WOW! They have also raised over $100,000 and I’m confident will raise more the last 3 days of their ride. We are so thankful for their willingness to push their bodies beyond limits for kids fighting cancer. I’m confident they have all thought about your NEGU motto during their rides.
Well my Angel sent from Heaven with a special assignment to spread hope, joy and love to children fighting cancer…I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU and I WILL SEE YOU IN A WINK! PROMISE!
I’ll be looking for your hand today=).