My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! I miss you so much and love you tons more. I’m actually writing to you from the living room where this massive 14’ Christmas tree is. Yep, mom & Shaya went big again. I can’t argue with them because they say…”It’s this big so it can be closer to Jessie”. LOL. I love the tree…it’s very large but it’s beautiful and all of your ornamentals are on it. We decorated it last weekend and thankfully there were no tears…even a few…“Remember Jessie loved….” statements. The big test will be Christmas…that is one of those “just get through it days” but at the same time we don’t want to rob Shaya and JT of having a great fun Christmas.
There are so many pictures of you from your last Christmas with us that I look at and remember on a regular occasion. We don’t share any of them due to the impact cancer was having on your body. Cancer took your hair, part of your vision, part of your ability to walk and eventually your life but cancer NEVER took your spirit to fight, your smile and your beautiful eyes.
Oh…how I miss those eyes. I still look at pictures and go right for your eyes. Your eyes will forever be the gateway to my heart…your eyes could speak without any sounds. They could evoke emotion and feel feelings in seconds. Your eyes told us so much. Even in the end when you couldn’t speak much…your eyes did all of the talking.
Darn…this liquid is starting to drip off my cheeks and cause my nose to run. I was feeling so strong when I woke up and started to write. Your eyes got me again…they will always penetrate my heart with love!
I miss you and your eyes so much Sweet Pea!!! I love you and your eyes tons more!!!
See you in a wink…PROMISE!