My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! It has been 2,436 days until I last held you. Some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels like twice as long. The rollercoaster called Greif still stops by from time to time. Some days it waits for me to get on but I walk away from it. Other days I wake up and find myself already riding it. Thank you again for leaving us with a task to complete on your behalf. I seriously don’t know where I would be if I didn’t get to be part of your foundation and help kids fighting cancer smile and families feel loved.
As you know it’s September, which is childhood cancer awareness month. May in September 2011 we held our first golf tournament and you were there with us. So fun!!! September is also the month that we found out that your brain tumor decided to grow again. That was such a kick in the gut knowing we had tried so hard to fight it for the previous six months. We had just come back from a wonderful family trip to Hawaii and had talked about you trying to go back to school. Non of that was going to happen now that we had a new fight on our hands. Mommy and I were so scared as we now knew the White Train called Heaven was going to stop at our home and it would leave with you in it. Had no clue when it would show up but just knew based off what the doctors were telling us it was coming. We tried so many new drugs, treatments, etc. We enjoyed a nice Christmas together in Colorado but the train pulled up on Jan 5, 2012. Off you went…
Due to all of this September is always a bag of mixed emotions. I will always hold tight to those great days we had together and wonder what it would have been like to have many more with you. I will also always hold on to mental pictures of your beautiful smile that I miss so much. This pictures is one of my favs. Pure joy!
Jess, I miss you so much and love you tons more. You are always in my thoughts and I will never forget you!!! See you in a wink Sweet Pea! I promise!