My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet Pea, it’s daddy! Miss you so much!!! The roller coast called “grief” is continuing to offer all types of ups, downs and unexpected sharp turns that cause my stomach to feel nauseas. I just wish they gave you notice so you could prepare for the whiplash that is left after the turn is over.
For example, last weekend we were putting the finishing touches on our massive Christmas tree, which included the picture ornaments. These are the special ones Nana gives us each year with a picture of each child and the year. As we laid them all out…Shaya had 20…JT has 15 and you had 12. My gut just sank…another crappy reminder during “happy holidays” that our family of 5 has been reduced to 4 by stupid cancer.
Then on Tuesday morning when mommy and I were with our counselor, we were asked to talk about January 5th as the date is fast approaching. Watching mommy have to relive it just sucked…her lip would quiver as tears rushed down her cheek. I know the counselor had great intentions but heading into the meeting the roller coaster was going “up” and then it took this dramatic, painful and unexpected drop. I know it helps to talk about the crap that gets closed up inside of you due to grief but just wish we had a little notice.
Thankfully Shaya and the team have been visiting children’s hospitals this week spreading JOY…seven visits in total. Today they go to City of Hope where you delivered JoyJars back in 2011 to the kids. You and that little red wagon. I just love this picture of you…making sure each one of your JoyJars were perfect before you delivered them. You cared so much about what went in each of your JoyJars and how they were stuffed. We have a sign in the JoyFactory called “Jessie’s Rules”…
#1) No cheesy toys!
#2) No air…so stuff it full!
#3) Ship it today…so kids smile tomorrow!
It’s so crazy Jess that your little idea has become this global symbol of JOY…we are closing in on over 200,000 JoyJars stuffed send shipped in the past six years. That is so great! The sad part about that is 300,000 kids are told they have cancer around the world each year. So we have hundreds of thousands of kids to still find, send JOY and encourage to NEGU. I just wish shipping wasn’t so expensive. What used to cost us $20 now costs us over $25. I know it’s just $5 but that means $250,000 more needed next year if we can send 50,000 more JoyJars next year. Don’t worry Jess, we will keep asking and do whatever we can to keep the JOY going. I just can’t wait for the “cure” people to put us out of business. That will be a great day! No more childhood cancer!!!
Will the roller coaster is getting ready to leave for the day and I need to find my seat. I’m praying for no gut wrenching turns today.
I miss you so much…love you tons more…see you in a wink! I Promise!!!